he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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