u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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