my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
