I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
