I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
