Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
