Quick, to the slutcave!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
