i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Boobs are out for the taking
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
