where am i from again
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
