508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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