If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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