I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
