His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
