she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
