My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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