His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
