I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
