So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
