They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
