i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
