Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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