I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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