people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
