I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
