Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
