it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
