Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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