i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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