Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
