He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
