he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
