She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
