I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just cropdusted the office
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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