This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
