dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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