if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
