god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
