So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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