He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
