there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This is classic penis vs brain.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
