Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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