I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
