Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
