roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
