i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Terrible idea I love it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
