we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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