Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
