what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
