the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she smelled like a LAN party
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
