he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Terrible idea I love it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
