Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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