ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
