I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
