Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
