dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
