The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
