New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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