Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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