She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
