I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
