This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
