I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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