I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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