when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
sex in a hospital.. check
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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