do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
