so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
