I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
false alarm, still single
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
